Why do moms have to visit the optometrist twice?
Because they also have eyes in the back of their heads.
I'm not a bad putter.
What do you find at the end of everything?
Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?
Why did the dog put on a business suit?
How did the coach get his quarterback?
What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?
What is the most appropriate holiday to have a baby on?
What did the sickly elevator say?
How do you know when a ship isn't having fun?
What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
Why didn't the fish go on summer vacation?
What's an old pig's favorite holiday?
What stories are told by basketball players?
Which celebrity shines the brightest?
What animal knows how to work a computer?
Who invented fractions?
Why don't ants get sick?
Why are chemists so good at solving problems?