My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.
How do you truly savor a hot dog?
What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?
Where did the hockey player get all his money?
What do dogs drink when they're sick?
Why was the alien always crashing his ships?
Why did the little boy cut off all the branches on the Christmas tree?
Why was the room so hot during the college graduation?
Did you hear about the one with the skunk on a camping trip?
What do you call the pig that does karate?
Why do track athletes never give up on anything?
What instruments do imaginary friends play?
What did the dentist call the x-ray he took of your mouth?
How do dogs take breaks while watching a movie?
Why was the janitor looking for cleaning products in the math department?
What did the stair machines call each other?
What's 90 degrees and never incorrect?
What's the most popular hairdo on a farm?
The museum curator needed a break.
What did the dad say when his child asked if he got a haircut?