My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.
What's the difference between soccer and football?
What's the name of Iron Man's thieving younger brother?
What flowers rarely depreciate in value?
What did the dad say when his child asked, "Can you put my shoes on?"
What does Rudolph call his wife?
How many guys does it take to make a burger and fries?
What did the boat say to the oar on Valentine's Day?
Why do airplanes make bad spouses?
What do the Eiffel Tower and a tick have in common?
What is Homer Simpson's favorite animal?
What constantly moves forward but never learns anything?
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
Why did the cat start laughing?
Why do kittens know so much about church?
What day of the week do chickens hide?
Why do golfers hate cake?
What is a bunny's favorite dance?
What is it called when you're overcharged for a package?
Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?